


This is the First Day of My Life

by writtendlessly



Category: Minecraft Youtubers, Team Crafted
Genre: BajanCanadian - Freeform, M/M, NoochM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 14:41:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1095175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writtendlessly/pseuds/writtendlessly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The distance chips away at their foundation, doing it's very best to make them crumble under the pressure. But with good friends and better concrete they stand strong against the elements.</p><p>Or, in which Mitch is falling apart and Team Crafted support an OTP they didn't even know existed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part I

 

-

It had only been about four hours, but for Mat it felt like a lifetime. He knew that Mitch wouldn’t have landed yet, and try as he might Mitch couldn’t get a flight with onboard wifi. There’s no way Mitch would see his messages until he got to the house and turned on his computer, which would take forever at this rate.

Mat knew this, but he was still checking Skype obsessively, as well as Twitter and his phone. It’s not that he was worried the plane would crash or anything, but he just wanted to know where Mitch was. And _maybe_ he was a little worried something would go terribly wrong and Mitch wouldn’t make it there alive.  Whatever. As a boyfriend for almost two years he’s allowed to worry a little.

Mitch would always tell him not to worry so much, but it was in Mat’s nature. Cynicism and pessimism was what he did, it was practically written in his DNA. Keep your expectations low and you won’t be disappointed. Whenever he explained that, Mitch would say to him, “That’s an awful way to live. You gotta have _some_ positivity.” But Mat would just smile and respond, “That’s what I got you for.”

Thinking back on even the smallest things still felt too raw and painful for Mat, however, so he eventually tried to record some videos instead of lying around moping and reminiscing. He got about 5 minutes into a video with Preston before the other boy abruptly stopped the recording.

“Look, I don’t know what’s got your panties in a twist but we can’t do a video like this. You’re killing the mood!” Preston exclaims, voice frustrated but still with that familiar fondness. “You are not the Noocheroni I know. You’re running at 20%, you’re just Noo.”

Mitch sighs and rubs his hand across his face. “Yeah, I’m sorry, man. Is tomorrow good?”

“Tomorrow’s great, let me know when you’re done classes,” Preston responds, and Mat thinks he can hear the smile in his voice. “Get some rest, Mat.”

Mat decides to not linger on the knowing tone in his voice and instead listens to Preston, quickly posting a tweet before crawling into bed early. He falls asleep almost immediately and doesn’t wake up until the next morning, but the almost 14 hours of sleep does nothing to stop the weight settling on his chest.

 

 

 

When Mitch lands in Los Angeles, he is immediately swept up in a whirlwind of activity. As soon as he gets to the house and in his room, the furniture thankfully ordered and shipped before he got there, he barely gets a chance to sit down before he’s out of the house again. He’s exhausted from his plane ride, but the other boys won’t let him miss out on decoration and grocery shopping. Mitch couldn’t care less about the curtains and what kind of juice they get, but at least he got to pick up all his favorite cereal brands. Mitch grabs about 6 boxes of cereal, barely able to hold them all in his arms, and follows the noise in the quiet grocery store back to the boys. They eye his cereal choices, most of them nodding in approval. Jason takes one look in the cart and exclaims, “You got Raisin Bran! That’s my shit but everyone hates it.”

Mitch’s face scrunches up in disgust and confusion. “I did? Gross, I hate that shit.”

Ty starts laughing, “Then why’d you get some?”

Mitch looks in the cart and, yep, there it is. One box of Raisin Bran, right between the Cheerios and Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

“Actually, I remember seeing it in your house last time I was there,” Jerome adds, and Mitch is starting to go red as he remembers. “Are you sure you’re not a closet raisin lover?”

Mitch suddenly remembers all too clearly why he picked up the box, and why he had some when Jerome visited. The visit had been somewhat of a surprise, Jerome showing up a day earlier than expected and nearly catching Mat and Mitch as they made out on his couch. They had no time to clear out Mat’s things from around the house, and Jerome spent nearly an entire week finding Mat’s toothbrush or boxers or backpack and asking invasive questions about why it was there. Mat made up a lie about his parents fighting and Jerome accepted it, but Mat and Mitch refused to even sit near each other for the rest of that week just to be sure.

“Dude?” Adam asks after Mitch stays silent for too long.

Mitch jumps a little bit, and mumbles an, “I don’t know. I must be tired,” before taking the box out of the cart and going to put it back. The other boys stare after him in confusion as he shuffles over to the cereal aisle, a rain cloud practically forming directly over his head with how quickly his mood dropped.

Mat loved Raisin Bran, and Mitch would always buy it to make sure he had some when he slept over. Mitch nearly drops the box as he puts it back on the shelf, the reality of the situation sinking in harder now than it did when he landed or arrived at the house. Hands shaking, Mitch follows quietly after the boys for the rest of the trip, and crashes face first on his bed when they get home, not even putting his new sheets on before falling asleep.

He thinks he can hear the other guys speaking in hushed tones outside of his door, but his tired mind was probably imagining it.

 

 

When Mitch finally gets his computer set up early on a Wednesday morning, the first thing he does is update his Facebook to let his family know he’s okay. He then sends out a tweet as he waits for Skype to start up, and he isn’t surprised when he sees the various missed messages from his contacts. He clicks on a few and replies to them, mostly just letting them know he arrived and making plans to film soon. He saves Mat for last, kind of scared that Mat will be mad at him for taking so long to reply.

When he opens the messages, he reads through them all about fifty times before noticing that Mat isn’t even online. He hasn’t tweeted in a few days either, but Mitch still sends him a tweet and hopes he notices.

 

Mitch frowns at that. Mat seemed to be upset with him, or maybe Mitch was just imagining things. Either way, he really wants to talk to him and had, as Mat predicted, completely forgotten about the time difference. Mitch prepares to send him another tweet in response, but Mat comes online anyway and Mitch nearly falls out of his chair in his scramble to open a chat with him. Before he even gets a chance to say anything, Mat sends him a message first.

 

 

 

After that Skype chat, Mat and Mitch started talking a lot more often. They couldn’t text anymore because of the long distance bills, but they would try to video call every morning when they could. Whenever one was busy, they’d leave messages for the other one to find. Sometimes they’d have entire conversations like this, with hours or days between messages. Mat is glad to see that Mitch’s mood seems to have brightened and Mitch express-mailed one of his hoodies back to Mat to help him sleep better. Adjusting to being long distance after living so close for years was tough, but they made do with what they had and pushed through it.

They both still experienced bouts of sadness and nostalgia at times, but they tried to keep it from the other to avoid them worrying. Mitch in particular was prone to almost violent mood swings, where he’d go completely silent in a recording and only speak when spoken to or get so angry and overwhelmed that he’d smash a plate. The guys tried to discuss the issue, but it was nearly impossible to find time to be alone without Mitch suspecting something. Instead, Jerome, as the resident Benja Expert after knowing him the longest, decided to try a different tactic.

 

 

It was nearly one in the morning when Mat gets a message from Jerome on Skype, simply reading, “What did you do to him???” Mat’s heart rate picks up at this, already knowing who it’s about and hoping Mitch didn’t accidentally spill information that he shouldn’t have. Mat tries his best to play nonchalant, but Jerome has known him too long to ever fall for it.

 

If Mat’s heart rate picked up before, it’s going nearly double time now. There’s no way Jerome suspects anything, he tells himself, there’s no way. But even as he tries to reassure himself, his hands still shake as he types his response.

 

Mat feels like he dodged a bullet when Jerome signs off, and it takes him nearly an hour to slow his heart’s pounding and get his hands to stop shaking. He sends a few messages to Mitch while he’s offline and signs off completely, trying to work on some homework as a distraction.

 

 

 

The next time Mat and Mitch video call, it’s nearly four in the morning in California and Mitch hasn’t actually slept yet. Mat doesn’t have class for another two hours, but he woke up early anyway and decided to spend his time with Mitch instead of doing homework. Often their Skype calls only last about 20 minutes before someone has to go, so a longer call was overdue.

As soon as Mitch accepts the call and his face shows up, Mat can see that he’s frowning. Mat feels like Mitch is frowning more often than not these days, but doesn’t dare mention it to Mitch. If Mitch knows he isn’t as subtle as he thinks he is, he’ll try even harder to hide it from him and then Mat won’t ever know what’s going on. Besides, it’s kind of cute how oblivious he is.

Before Mat gets a chance to say anything, Mitch holds up his hand in a ‘wait’ gesture. “Let me talk first,” he says, voice soft as to not wake up the other boys, or let the ones still awake know he’s up too.

Mat nods and leans back in his chair, bringing a leg up to his chest so he can wrap his arms around it and rest his head on his knee. Mitch smiles a little at the pose, and Mat grins in return.

“Stop distracting me with your cute,” Mitch grumbles, but it’s not very menacing when he’s grinning back at Mat. “First of all, Jerome is an ass. I’m not acting that bad, he’s exaggerating.”

Mat simply rolls his eyes in response.

“Secondly, you’re not my ‘lame boyfriend back in Canada’, you’re my great boyfriend who I miss a lot,” Mitch states firmly, nearly pouting now. Mat wants to punch him in the face and then kiss it better, because no 20 year old should be that cute.

“Thanks for the reassurance, I was so worried you’d dump me for being too lame,” Mat responds sarcastically. Then a little more seriously he says, “You don’t have to coddle me, I’m not a baby. I know where we stand, Mitch.”

Mitch sighs and slouches back into his chair. “I know, I just worry a lot. I never used to worry about anything. You’ve ruined me.”

Mat must have unknowingly looked upset at that, because Mitch backpedals immediately. “No, I didn’t mean that. You didn’t ruin anything! You’ve made everything better.”

“Mitch,” Mat sighs and rolls in his chair a little bit closer to his webcam. “Stop. You’re freaking out about everything. We’re fine, I’m fine, you’re fine. It sucks right now but we’ll get used to it, and the next thing we know we’ll be hanging out together again.”

Mitch smiles a little in response. “I’ve been thinking about that actually, your next break is Christmas right? That’s a long one, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, a couple of weeks,” Mat responds, glad for the topic change and excited to discuss seeing Mitch again. “I can’t believe it’s only like two months away.”

“Do you have a lot of exams and papers?”

“I believe the correct term is a ‘fuck ton’, actually,” Mat laughs. “Nothing I can’t handle, but I’ve been kind of stressed and tired lately.”

“Aw,” Mitch coos mockingly. “Miss me that much?”

“I should be asking you!” Mat responds, slightly offended tone in his voice. “ _I’m_ not the one moping around all day.”

“I’m not moping,” Mitch insists. “Jerome is just making shit up.”

Mat rolls his eyes and nods along, shifting in his chair and reaching his arms up to stretch them. His shirt rides up, and when he looks back at Mitch the other boy looks decidedly more devious than he did a moment ago.

“I don’t like the way you’re looking at me,” Mat says, voice wary but he can’t help but match Mitch’s suggestive grin with one of his own.

“You alone? Are your parents at work?” Mitch asks, tone all too innocent and nonchalant. Mat nods yes and Mitch adds, “Most of the guys are sleeping, the ones that aren’t are at least a floor below me.”

Mitch starts shrugging out of his sweater and going at the buttons of his already half undone shirt. Mat watches with wide eyes, wondering if Mitch was really going where he thought he was going. It’s not like they’ve never done anything together, but they were normally in the same room and behind about 3 different locked doors. Mitch smirks back at him, does that stupid thing he does with his tongue in pictures and asks, “You wanna spend our time doing something more productive?”

Mat goes red, even though he tries with all his might to stop the flushing in his cheeks. He stays silent for a moment, remembering that both of his parents went to work early that day. He gets up to close the door and puts a box in front of it, just in case. When he sits back down, Mitch is completely shirtless and lounged so far back in his chair it could only mean one thing.

For all his bravado and confidence before, Mitch is already flushed and incoherent by the time Mat settles comfortably in his chair again. Mat smirks, putting in his headphones, and says, “You have no idea what you’re getting into.”

 

That morning, Mitch learns they have no band-aids in the house when he has to patch himself up with paper towels after biting his hand so hard it bled. Mat learns that he can completely wreck Mitch with a low tone and a few vivid descriptions.

 

 

 

Mitch is in high spirits for the rest of that day, and for the week that follows. Jerome takes complete credit for going to Mat to fix Mitch in the first place and Jason has taken to calling him “Mitch’s babysitter” when Mitch isn’t around because of it. The other guys are glad to see him out of his bad mood and for the sake of keeping him happy, they don’t bother asking what the problem was to begin with. It’s easier to just let it be, they decided, and things were going great for almost two weeks.

Then Mitch started acting weird again.

It started with a tweet, a simple update from Mat that Mitch saw, retweeted and replied to. It wasn’t uncommon these days to see Mitch reply to nearly everything Mat said, acting almost like an excited puppy. The tweet wasn’t particularly exciting or interesting, but something in Mitch clicks (or breaks, Quentin suggests) the day it’s tweeted and he is back to acting strange again.

 

The boys are sitting around their much too large dining table, eating cheap Chinese take-out and talking about life when they realize that Mitch is in another strange mood. The conversation had been about people they went to high school with that turned out crazy, but Mitch was only half paying attention. When there’s a break in the conversation he finally says, “Did you see Mat’s tweet today? He’s killing it at college. On that grind.”

The others look at him, various looks of confusion and amusement on their faces. Jerome speaks up first, “Okay?”

“I just mean, he’s someone I know from high school but he didn’t turn out insane. He’s doing good shit,” Mitch responds, voice getting quieter and less confident. “It’s awesome to know someone that smart.”

“You saying we aren’t smart?” Adam asks, trying to flick rice at Mitch as he says it.

The other guys jump onto the topic change, arguing who is the smartest amongst them and for what reason. Mitch stays silent the rest of the meal, already feeling stupid for bothering to speak up in the first place. Jerome watches him out of the corner of his eye and wants to punch himself and the others for getting Mitch back into a bad mood again. He has bigger problems to deal with, but now they’re going to make him fix Mitch again. Jerome pulls out his phone to send a tweet and joins the conversation, making a compelling argument for why he is actually the smartest one of them all and trying to ignore Mitch and the unhappiness radiating from him for now.

 

  
 

 

The next time it’s a little less subtle, but still falls under the radar enough that no one questions it. Ian, Mitch, Jerome and Rob were in a Skype call, discussing what videos they want to record and getting their equipment set up. Mitch was already prepared about an hour ago, having been maybe a little bit too excited to record today. He thinks if he listens carefully, he can hear Jerome tinkering around in his room, just two down from Mitch’s. The Skype call had been running for about 20 minutes before someone decides to bring it up.

“Are we ever going to actually record?” Jerome asks, voice muffled and distant as he messes with the wires under his desk.

“I swear Mat said he’d be on around now, maybe we should wait a little longer,” Mitch insists, ignoring the groan Rob lets out.

“Mitch, he isn’t coming,” Rob says. “It’s like midnight in this time zone, he probably went to bed.”

Ian is at least slightly more sympathetic than the others, but still just as firm. “We’ll record with him next time, alright? Let’s get started on this one.”

Mitch is reluctant but inevitably agrees, feeling guilty about delaying his friends so much just in the hopes Mat would come online. Mitch knows that Mat probably fell asleep by now and he can picture Mat sprawled across his bed, the latest book he has to read for his English class resting on his chest. Mitch had seen this picture in person many times before when Mat would stay over, which was more often than not, and fall asleep on the nearest soft surface trying to do all his homework in one night. Mitch would try his best to make Mat comfortable where he was, packing up his books for a later time. Mat insisted he should do all his homework on Friday nights so they could have the weekend free, but it always ended up with him scrambling on a Sunday morning, body sore but at ease after the weekend’s activities.

Mitch doesn’t even realize he’s lost himself in a memory until he hears the other guys yelling, “Mitch! Mitch! Are you gonna take the damn intro or not?”

He apologizes quickly, taking the intro and shaking his head to try to clear the jumbled memories from his mind for now.

 

It takes only about ten minutes of recording on a new map for The Walls before Jerome realizes that Mitch is mindlessly strip mining and has barely said a word since they started.

“Is it too late to switch teams? Mitch is useless today,” Jerome says, expecting some sort of reaction out of Mitch. Instead, Mitch remains silent.

“God dammit,” Rob mutters under his breath. Determined to push through the recording and not start over, he comes up with a better tactic to get Mitch’s attention. “Hey, since Mitch isn’t listening, let’s just reveal all his secrets.”

“He’s been a Grumpy McGrumpPants ever since he got here,” Ian quickly says, eager to finally release some of the frustration they’ve all been feeling lately.

“Maybe it’s too hot over there, he’s used to living in an igloo up here in Canada,” Rob suggests. “It’s—“

“I’ll tell you what it is,” Jerome interrupts, an idea coming to him that he wants to test. “Mitch is being a butt. Or even better, he’s being a jag. Jagmaster admiral over here.”

Just as Jerome predicted, the use of Mat’s so-called ‘title’ gets Mitch’s attention. “What?”

“Wow, now you talk to us,” Ian complains. “Woooow.”

“Who’s a jagmaster admiral?” Mitch asks, ignoring Ian completely.

“You are!” Jerome exclaims, the distant sound of him hitting his desk coming through the walls.

“Nah, that’s Mat’s title. No one can be the jagmaster admiral like he can,” Mitch insists, voice almost resembling the way a young girl talks about her crush. “The title was made for him.”

“My pickaxe is going to be made for your face if you don’t start focusing on this game,” Jerome grumbles in return. “I’m not losing to these two butts.”

“Relax, dude,” Mitch responds, making a more solid attempt to get back into the swing of things. He really can’t keep letting the commentary suffer because of his issues. “We’ll power move through this like we always do. Hashtag Merome ‘til the end.”

Jerome smiles a little, and Mitch can perfectly imagine the way the tension in his body eases. Much like Jerome knew he could get Mitch’s attention by mentioning Mat, Mitch also knew that talking about power moves would distract Jerome enough to get him off his back. Both felt like they were being super subtle, even if Rob and Ian could see right through them. Regardless, the recording continued on as normal and that’s been a rarity the last few weeks, so nobody wanted to ruin the vibe.

 

 

Things continue on like this for the next few days. Mitch mentions Mat at the strangest times, always managing to link him to the conversation being had. When they finally get to record a battledome with Mat, Mitch insists on being on the same team as him and Jerome even if it makes the teams unbalanced. Mitch spends the entire time getting redstone and killing creepers to make TNT, which he gifts to Mat about five minutes before the build phase was over. Mat is surprised, and his shout of “Mitch!” is nothing short of ecstatic. Mitch spends the rest of the time helping Mat with his traps, listening diligently and placing redstone when he’s told to. Martin, the other member of their team, calls them adorable, but Jerome is just annoyed that he has to rush to get another set of armor for Mitch.

With Mitch’s help and guarding, the trap actually works completely as planned for once, killing two of the opposing team’s members. Mitch goes down with them too, but his suicide mission wins them the game anyway. Mat and Mitch spend the rest of the video yelling excitedly and running their characters into and through each other in their best attempt at a hug in Minecraft. It’s the happiest Mitch has sounded in weeks and Jerome begrudgingly admits it’s kind of cute, even if he’ll never say it out loud.

When they finish recording, Jerome heads over to Mitch’s room and expects him to be energetic and happy due to their win. However, he opens the door and Mitch is quiet, arms crossed on his desk and head resting on top of them. Mitch doesn’t seem to have noticed him, so Jerome backs out quietly and heads downstairs where the rest of the boys were waiting for them to finish so they could order food.

When he enters the kitchen Quentin perks up and turns towards him, a question on his tongue before it’s chased away by the look on Jerome’s face. The others quickly notice too, and Tyler is the first to ask, “What’s wrong? Where’s Mitch?”

“We really need to do something,” Jerome states, more serious than he’s probably ever been since stepping foot into this house. “Mitch is kinda scaring me now.”

“What’d he do?” Adam sits up a little straighter, growing concerned with the way Jerome is talking. “Is he alright?”

“He’s fine, but I’m not sure for how long,” Jerome explains. “We just won a battledome. Mitch led them into one of Mat’s traps and it went off perfectly. But when I went into his room he looked miserable, he was slumped over his desk like he completely gave up.”

“I see him laying around on things a lot,” Ian adds, recalling all the times he’s seen Mitch staring vacantly at the ceiling as he lies on the couch or the floor. “He just lays there and doesn’t move, it’s like his mind is somewhere else.”

There’s a pause, all of the boys thinking back on every interaction with Mitch over the last few weeks. Adam finally speaks up, voice quiet as insecurity grabs a hold of it. “Do you think it’s us? He used to be so positive and happy before he moved here.”

The thought hits everyone at the same time, the silence stifling as they contemplate the possibility. Nobody wants to believe that Mitch hates them or is unhappy with them, but it’s hard to deny the way he’s been acting. Nothing they do makes it any better and he’s closing off more and more every time they try. It’s frustrating, and scary, to watch someone they care about seemingly fall apart like this.

After a few minutes of silence, Jerome bursts out with a, “Jesus christ” and slams open a cupboard, grabbing a shot glass and the vodka. He downs a shot and drops onto a barstool. “I have no fucking idea what to do about this anymore,” he says, slumping onto the counter much like Mitch did on his desk.

“I think I have an idea,” Ian says slowly. “It might sound dumb, but you’ll have to trust me on this one.”

“We’re listening,” Jerome says, voice muffled with his face pressed against the countertop of the bar.

Ian sits down, readying himself to explain his thought process and hoping he’s not entirely wrong. Mitch stays in his room the entire night, aimlessly browsing Youtube and making a few tweets, while the others discuss him for the rest of the night.

 

 

 

It's been about a month since Mitch left and Mat has been slowly learning to adjust to the distance between them, taking it a lot better than Mitch seems to be. It’s a boring Friday night, one he would usually have spent with Mitch, when Mat gets a Skype message. Messages aren't altogether uncommon, but this one was from Ian. Mat knew Ian was staying at the house right now, as Mitch and the others had tweeted about it a lot. Ian is a nice guy, almost ridiculously nice and helpful in a big brother kind of way, but him and Mat weren't exactly best friends. In fact, the last time they Skyped was over 5 weeks ago. Still, Mat tries to believe the message is just about recording, even if everything in him tells him otherwise.

 

For all his attempts at staying calm and rational, Mat still reads the message with a heavy sense of foreboding. His first thought is, 'Oh god Mitch, what did you do now?'

Mat doesn't respond for a while, hoping that Ian will elaborate before he has to say anything. No such luck, however, and after five minutes of nervously spinning back and forth in his chair, Mat responds.

 

Mat doesn't know why, but he decides to lie.

 

A mantra of 'Goddammit Mitch' starts playing over and over in Mat's head. He loves the guy, but he can be a real oblivious idiot sometimes.

Although, Mat can't deny the surge of happiness knowing that Mitch is thinking about him often.

 

Mat's heart all but stops at that, rubbing his hand over his face as he thinks that he's way too tired to be dealing with this right now. Mat tries to sound nonchalant and dismissive, but even as he hits enter, he knows it comes off more fake than anything else.

 

Mat sits up straighter in his chair, nearly certain that Ian is going to ask why, and he's going to have to make something up to not reveal the truth. Mat hates lying about their relationship, hates lying to friends even more, but the last thing they need right now is more drama to put a strain on their relationship.

 

 

 

If you had asked Mat a week ago if he ever thought he’d be in a Skype chat with members of Team Crafted, he might’ve believed you, provided Mitch was in the chat too. But instead, Mat finds himself discussing a trip down to Los Angeles over winter break with Ian, Adam, Quentin and Jason behind Mitch’s back. Jerome wasn’t allowed to know either, because Quentin insists that he’s too close to Mitch and will blow the surprise early. Mat had already discussed the possibility of coming down for Christmas and New Years with Mitch a while ago, but no concrete plans were made. Now, Ian insists that a secret trip would be much better than just telling Mitch outright about their plans. Mat isn’t sure how much he agrees with him.

 

Mat chuckles at that, content to let them bicker a little bit while he browses for flights on his other monitor. He finally turns back when he sees Adam yelling at him.

 

Mat appreciates Adam’s enthusiasm, the other boy maybe too excited for Mat to come. They’ve never been the closest of friends, but Adam seems to have an inherent desire to make everyone happy. He figures Adam realizes on some level that Mat coming will do that for Mitch. Mat is baffled how easily they have all accepted this fact, knowing that if Jerome were in this chat he’d be asking about a million questions. Jason already said that Jerome didn’t buy it when Ian explained his thoughts. Jerome is still insisting that Mitch has a secret girlfriend, trying to pry Mat for answers nearly daily now, and it would be funny if it wasn’t really awkward. Mat figures that Jerome wouldn’t immediately think of Mat as the secret girlfriend— _boyfriend_ , he corrects himself, _I’m not a damn woman_ —or consider the idea that Mitch was with a guy at all. He’d be worried if Jerome _did_ suspect, but it still doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable to be continuously lying to his longtime friend.

Mat and Mitch have talked about coming out before, always as vague, sleepy conversations curled up together on Mitch’s couch or bed. They contemplated the reactions of their friends and family, the conversation occasionally turning dark when insecurity and fears bled into it. Neither of them were willing to take the risk of alienating their families, and while Mat didn’t care if people unsubscribed because of something as unimportant as his sexuality, Mitch had an entire career based around the support of his subscribers. Even when Mat really wanted to hold his hand in public and tweet about their date nights, he knew Mitch had a lot more riding on this than he did and he never pushed it. Mat thinks that their fans would probably be pretty accepting anyway, if Adam’s coming out was anything to go by, but he knows Mitch is more scared of other youtubers not accepting him than he is of the fans.

It’s easy to just say you’re bi or gay, he would always insist, but actually being in a relationship with a guy is a whole different story. A lot of people can accept homosexuality in theory, but when it’s in front of them they can’t handle it. Mat can see where he’s coming from, but it’s still sad to hear the normally positive and optimistic boy be so jaded and suspicious of other people. Regardless, they’ve hidden it for nearly two years now and it’s worked out so far, so Mat is not willing to mess up a good thing.

By the time Mat finishes booking his flight and looks back at the Skype chat, the other guys have already left. He feels kind of bad ignoring them for so long, reading over the messages they left him before they signed off to eat dinner.

 

Mat smiles and feels glad that Mitch has such supportive friends backing him up and protecting him when Mat can’t be there to do it himself.

 

 

Three days later, Mat is in the middle of chatting with Mitch and trying his damnedest to avoid talking about Christmas. The topic inevitably comes up, the holiday being one of Mitch’s favorites, and it takes everything in Mat to not blow the secret immediately.

 

Mat’s stomach twists up in knots and he has to keep reminding himself that it’ll be worth it to surprise him, even if Mat can perfectly imagine the way Mitch’s face fell as he read the message.

 

Mat doesn’t actually have to go but he can’t stand talking to Mitch and lying to him for any longer than necessary. Mitch was clearly heartbroken, the typos betraying the way his hands were undeniably shaking as he typed. Mitch is normally calm and level-headed, but his hands always showed his emotions more than his own face would. Mat can recall every time he’s seen Mitch shove his hands into his pockets to hide the way they trembled and every time it’s been something awful and heart wrenching. Mat vowed he would never be the one to make Mitch so upset, especially not after the first—and only—time they fought almost a year ago. The argument was over something stupid and unimportant, but Mat could never forget the way Mitch closed himself off when a comment dug a little too deep, the way Mitch’s voice shook when he shot back with something he didn’t mean. They made up quickly and were stronger because of it, but Mat never wants to go through that again.

For the millionth time over the last few days, Mat wonders whether this is a good idea at all. It’s really not about Mitch suspecting anything strange, like Quentin said, but rather the other boys. As far as they know, there’s no reason for him to be visiting Mitch for the holidays other than to fix “the problem” as they’ve taken to calling it. Friends, even best friends, generally don’t ditch their families to fly across the country to spend time with each other—or Mat assumes that’s what they’re thinking. There’s no real way for Mat to have said “I was coming to visit anyway” without being questioned relentlessly. He had no choice but to go with this secret plan.

He just hopes Mitch can make it for the next few weeks without him.

 

 

 

 

It’s after nearly 24 hours of Mitch not leaving his room that Jerome barges in, door slamming against the wall behind him. Jerome is aware he could have caught Mitch in some sort of compromising position, but with the way he’s been moping the last few days—the last two months, really—Jerome figures he’s safe. His suspicions are confirmed when he finds Mitch lying tangled up in his sheets on the floor. There’s some plates and food wrappers on his desk and Jerome is relieved to find out he’s still been eating, even if none of them have seen him leave the room to get food.

Jerome walks over to Mitch’s unmoving form and kicks him as gently as possible to wake him up. Mitch responds immediately, curling away from Jerome and groaning. Jerome kicks him again, a little harder this time, and says, “C’mon you miserable shit, get up.”

Mitch mumbles a soft, “Go away,” voice muffled by the pillow his face is pressed into.

“Dude, come on. You made that tweet about needing a break and then we don’t see you for a day. We’re worried,” Jerome pauses, trying to approach this a little gentler. “ _I’m_ worried.”

Mitch doesn’t respond, but Jerome can see his body uncurling a bit and making some attempt to untangle himself.

“Just talk to someone about this. Please,” Jerome pleads, dropping onto Mitch’s bed and laying back, staring up at the ceiling. “It doesn’t have to be me. Talk to anyone. You can’t keep going on like this. Fans are concerned, your videos are lacking, nobody wants to record with you anymore.”

“Wow, thanks,” Mitch responds sarcastically. His voice is much clearer now and Jerome can hear shuffling and shifting that he hopes means Mitch is getting up from the floor.

“I’m sorry, dude, but it’s true. You’re not yourself.” Jerome sighs. There’s nothing more he can say and he feels useless not being able to help his friend from whatever he’s going through.

“I’m sorry,” Mitch says as he drops to lay down next to Jerome. “There’s just a lot of shit right now. And seeing everyone with their girlfriends isn’t helping.”

Jerome resists the urge to say ‘I knew it!’ at the mention of girlfriends. Despite Ian and Adam’s insistence that Mitch was sad over Mat, Jerome just knew it was because of a girl. He’s known Mitch the longest out of all the other boys, he knows what love looks like on Mitch. _Probably unrequited love, though, with the way he’s been acting,_ he thinks.

“It’s alright,” Jerome says instead of giving in to his desire to quiz Mitch for answers. “But it’s not just you, y’know? Fans love Benj n’ Bac but it’s not the same lately. Adam is about to have a mental breakdown because he thinks this is all our fault and he can’t fix it. He’s been through shit too, you could talk to him.”

“I might,” Mitch says hesitantly, knowing that he could never talk to anyone about this without blowing everything. He’s worked long and hard to keep his relationship a secret, wanting to protect Mat and what they have from potential critics. Maybe if the other boys knew then things would be easier, but it’s not a risk he’s willing to take. “Just give me some time, I’ll figure it out.”

“Take all the time you need, man.” Jerome sits up, signaling the end of the conversation. “Just know we’re here.”

Mitch sits up too and watches him as he walks towards the door. “Thanks,” he says, trying to express the full amount of his gratitude in one word.

“Try to eat and shower too, and come out of your room more often.”

“You saying I smell?” Mitch smiles, the ease of their friendship coming back to them with no effort.

“Like a dirty Bac!” Jerome exclaims, running out of the room when Mitch throws a pillow at him.

 

 

The next day, Mitch comes out and makes breakfast for everyone and feels better than he has in weeks. He’s surrounded by great friends and living in an amazing house, he reminds himself, he doesn’t have a right to be so sad.

Well, great friends might be an understatement right now, with how strange Ian, Adam and Quentin are acting. Even Jason is being a little more dismissive than normal. Ty, Tyler, Jerome and the girlfriends are the only ones acting normal, with the others constantly on edge around Mitch. It’s not like they’re treating him gently, afraid that he’ll break at any moment like fine china. Instead, they seem afraid of him. They’re jittery and alert, avoiding any long conversations with Mitch and spending a lot of time on their phones. Ian tries to insist it’s because today is Christmas Eve Eve, but Mitch isn’t sure how truthful that is.

Regardless, he goes to sleep early that night and sleeps easily, wrapped up in one of Mat’s old sweaters to keep warm. As soon as Mitch retires upstairs for the night, the others congregate in the living room, sitting in relative silence as they shoot glances at the front door and check their watches. Maddie and Annie eventually go to sleep, their respective boyfriends too busy staring at the door to properly say good night. Jerome and Ty are completely confused, continuously asking what is going on, but Quentin shushes them and assures them that they’ll find out soon enough. 

After about two hours of silence in which Jerome wants to tear his hair out from the awkwardness, a soft knocking sound rings out throughout the quiet house. Adam bolts up, Ian not far behind him as they rush to the front door. They open it and talk to whoever is there in muffled tones. Jerome is far too curious to wait for them to come back into the room, and instead slowly makes his way to the front door.

The last thing Jerome expects to see is Mat, bundled up much too warmly for California, even in December, and with a large suitcase next to him. The surprise is too much to keep him quiet, and he bursts out with shocked cry of, “Mat?!”

Ian nearly tackles him in his effort to cover Jerome’s mouth, shushing him. “Shut up! Mitch doesn’t know.”

“Is that what’s been going on?” Jerome asks when Ian finally releases him. “You guys brought Mat to see Mitch?”

“Hi to you too, asshole,” Mat speaks up and Jerome is startled, as if he didn’t actually believe Mat was there.

Jerome looks back and forth between Mat and the other boys, equally smug looks on both of their faces, and throws his hands up in the air in exasperation. “I have no idea what’s going on.”

“We got Mat to secretly come down to visit Mitch,” Quentin explains. “His flight was delayed, though, we weren’t sure if he was ever going to get here.”

“It’s snowing like a bitch back in Montreal,” Mat adds, still standing awkwardly in the front door. “Can I come in now?”

The others quickly move out of the way  and let Mat in, leaving his suitcase at the door and leading him into the living room. They talk for a few hours, explaining the situation to Jerome and letting Mat know that Mitch is sleeping right now. Mat really wants to go wake him up, or even better, crawl into bed next to him and sleep for the next 20 years. He knows he can’t do that, though, so he accepts when they suggest he sleeps on the couch.

Mat is barely able to sleep at all that night despite arriving at almost midnight, excitement and nervousness flooding his system. He’s eager to finally see Mitch again after so long, but he’s worried about being able to control himself in front of the others. By the time Mat has given up on sleeping any more, around 7 am, he navigates his way to the kitchen and finds Quentin and Ian already in there, drinking coffee and talking quietly.

“Mornin’,” Ian greets, offering him a mug of coffee which Mat declines. “You ready for the big reveal?”

“Of course,” Mat responds, instead of the multiple variations of ‘No, not at all’ he wants to say. He never was much of a morning person, so he stays silent as Quentin shows him the cereal—sorted just the way Mitch would do it at his old place—and they settle at the dining room table to eat their breakfast.

Some of the others trickle in as the morning goes on, first Adam, then Annie and finally Tyler. They chat about their Christmas plans, all of them doing their best to ignore the way Mat is nervously drumming his fingers on the table.

 

 

When Mitch wakes up the morning of Christmas Eve, he is refreshed and energized. He’s always been somewhat of a morning person and Christmas is one of his favorite holidays, so he’s normally rather amped up when it comes around. He showers quickly, checks his social media sites, and then eventually meanders downstairs when his stomach starts rumbling too loudly for him to ignore.

He can hear the other guys and girls talking in the dining room as he walks down the stairs, but he stops paying attention as he sees the suitcase sitting innocently at the foot of the stairs near the front door. Mitch doesn’t remember seeing that suitcase before, though it does seem oddly familiar, but he can’t think of who else would be coming—or leaving—on Christmas Eve.

Mitch stares at it in confusion for a moment when he hears Adam shout, “But that’s not what I meant!”, tone offended and probably in response to something Mitch didn’t overhear. Mitch continues down the stairs again when he hears it, mixed between the laughs and loud denials from Adam. To most people, it would probably be nothing special, but Mitch has spent hours on end listening to that sound and doing everything he can to hear it again. Mitch’s heart starts pounding as he descends the steps, finally reaching the bottom and turning around them to face the dining room behind the stairs.

Mitch isn’t sure if he said anything or made any sort of noise, but everyone at the table turns to look at him and the entire world narrows down to one point, one sound. Sitting there between Ian and Ty is Mat, smile lingering on his face after laughing at whatever had happened before Mitch had come in. Mat and Mitch’s eyes meet and the entire mood of the room seems to change, the others either staring expectantly or politely averting their eyes. Mat gets up slowly, Mitch still too shocked to move, and makes his way towards Mitch. He moves about two steps before breaking into a near-sprint as he collides into Mitch, the two getting wrapped up in an intimate hug. The thought of how romantic and clichéd their greeting was passed over everyone watching them, but nobody dares say anything about it now.

Mitch’s heart is pounding and he can feel Mat’s heart in a similar state from where their chests are pressed together. He grips on to the back of Mat’s sweater in an effort to control himself and calm down, but having Mat so close after so long has his brain going on overdrive. It feels like a minute of straight hugging before Mat tilts his head towards Mitch’s ear and whispers, “I miss you too, babe, but remember where we are.”

The reminder causes Mitch to jolt backwards, blush spreading across his face as he awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. “Hey Mat,” he says, trying and failing to sound nonchalant. “What are you doing here?”

With the intimate moment over, Adam feels comfortable enough to say something. “Uh, surprise?”

Mitch looks over Mat back at Adam who is grinning sheepishly. Mitch is baffled at this entire affair, wondering how this all happened behind his back without revealing anything about his and Mat’s relationship. He wants to ask about a million questions, but more than anything he wants to greet Mat properly in a more private location.

“I had no idea!” He exclaims and everyone has the collective thought of ‘No, shit’. Mitch turns to address Mat again. “So the suitcase over there is yours? Here, let me show you my room and we can bring it up there.”

Mat almost protests, not wanting the others to think it’s weird, but the look in Mitch’s eyes tells him he doesn’t want to argue. “Sure, let’s go.”

Mat grabs his suitcase from the base of the stairs and follows after Mitch as he makes his way up. It takes everything in Mitch not to run to his room, or to just accost Mat as they reach the top of the staircase.

They make it to Mitch’s room in less than a minute, but it feels like an hour with how badly they both want to be alone. Mat almost grabs Mitch’s hand as it swings between them, but with some people still asleep on the same floor it seems too risky to attempt. When they step into Mitch’s room, Mat drops his suitcase, him and Mitch surging towards each other like magnets. Mat kicks the door closed with his foot and the two of them stand there for a few moments, just breathing the other in and trying to wrap their heads around the fact that this is real, this is happening.

Mitch’s hands slide from where they were wrapped around Mat’s back up to grip his forearms, and then moving to cup Mat’s face. They look at each other for a moment, so many things they want to say but can’t properly articulate out loud. Mat can feel the way Mitch’s hands are shaking against his face, guilt overwhelming him even if he knows the trembling of Mitch’s hands is because he’s excited, not upset.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Mitch whispers, the moment too intimate to ruin with normal speaking voices.

“I’m sorry for lying,” Mat responds and glances down at his feet, unable to meet Mitch’s eyes as the guilt settles over him. “The guys insisted, I couldn’t argue. I wanted to tell you but—“

The last thing Mitch wants to do right now is talk, so he interrupts Mat the best way he knows how, by pushing him against the wall next to his door. Mitch’s height advantage allows him to create their own little world, where Mat can’t see anything behind Mitch. He feels Mat’s arms wrap around his neck as he leans heavily on the wall behind him and Mitch can’t resist bringing his own hands to rest on Mat’s hips.

“God, I missed you,” Mitch mutters, face pressed into the curve of Mat’s neck.

Mat chuckles a little and Mitch can feel it all the way through his body. “Me too, me too.”

They spend another few minutes wrapped up like this before their eyes meet again and, having the same thought at the same time, they rush forward to meet in their first real kiss in months. It’s glorious, the feeling like sunsets and warm beaches and the canyon that had been pulling them apart is suddenly flooded with water, the two sides of land being drawn together to meet and become one again. It’s poetic, the way the two of them feel both excited and calm, emotions churning through them too fast for them to follow completely. The entire world seems to melt away except for where they’re pressed together; toe to toe, chest to chest, mouth to mouth.

They stay like this for another few minutes, pressing kisses to any inch of skin they can reach, muttering small phrases like “I love you” or “I missed you” in between. After about the twentieth kiss shared between the two, Mat’s position changes, and he brings his hands up to run his fingers through Mitch’s hair. Mat shifts his hips forward just slightly and at the same time, he gently tugs on the hair between his fingers. The reaction is almost immediate, with Mitch pressing him even harder again the wall and pushing his own hips down in response. Mat smirks against Mitch’s mouth, an unspoken joke about how easy Mitch is—just a tug of his hair and he’s yours—hanging in the air.

Their mouths stay fused together for as long as possible, lack of contact for so long making them sloppy but enthusiastic, though they’d be lying if they said it wasn’t one of the best kisses they’ve had. Their desperation makes them frenzied, Mitch nearly ripping his belt in his attempt to get it off as fast as possible. Mat’s hands are at the button of his own jeans when a noise from the next room over startles them. They both jump away from each other like they were burned, the reality of the situation hitting them suddenly.

“I,” Mat begins, voice breathy and rough. “We— Wow.”

Mitch smirks at him in response. “That good?”

“I could ask you the same,” Mat shoots back, staring purposefully at Mitch’s half undone belt and unzipped jeans.

Mitch scrambles to right himself, Mat doing the same before finally taking a look around the room. “So this is your humble abode, huh?”

“Yeah,” Mitch says. “Here, let me get the air mattress for you. Or, you know, to pretend that it’s for you.”

Mat smiles and moves his hand in a shooing gesture. “Go. I’m gonna snoop around in your stuff.”

When Mitch is out of the room, Mat takes a better look at the room surrounding him. It’s simple, with just a bed, a desk and a dresser. The shape of it was odd and there was no closet, but Mat remembers that Mitch told him a while ago that this room used to be an office. The bed was pretty big, about a queen Mat would guess, and the blankets barely show any proof that someone slept in it. Mat knows that Mitch sleeps like a log, barely moving no matter what the situation. Mat was always a bit more chaotic, stealing the blankets and wrapping himself around the closest person or pillow. It’s small things, like the neat state of the sheets, that really remind Mat of how far away from home Mitch is. This wasn’t their space back in Montreal, this wasn’t Mitch’s mattress on the floor of his basement where the whir of Mitch’s computer would lull them into a dreamy state no matter what time it was. That basement, Mitch’s entire condo, belonged to someone else now and this new bedroom couldn’t even compare.

It wasn’t all bad, though, as Mat could see little touches of Mitch throughout the room, making it seem less like a cold hotel room and a little more comfortable. Mitch had a sweater draped over his desk chair, a pair of shorts sticking out of a half-open drawer, an empty bottle of water on the nightstand. What really caught Mat’s attention was the small slip of paper stuck to the wall beside Mitch’s bed. It was mostly blocked by the lamp on the nightstand, but as Mat approached he could see it was a ticket stub, dated January 23rd, 2011.  Their first real date.

Mat had no idea he kept the ticket stub for so long, but he’s not very surprised. Mitch was always the cheesy and romantic one, buying Mat flowers and remembering all the silly holidays and milestones of their relationship.

When Mitch comes back, arms full of the equipment for the air mattress, he finds Mat sitting on his bed and looking at the ticket stub he pinned to his wall the second he got in his room.

“So you found it, huh?” Mitch asks, dropping everything he was holding unceremoniously to the ground.

Mat says the first thing he can think of. “You little shit. You adorable, romantic little piece of shit.”

Mitch laughs, loud and long, harder than he has in months. Mat can’t help but grin back at him.

As Mitch finally calms down and starts to set up the air mattress he asks another question. “Do you like the place?”

“What, this room?” Mat scoffs, bitterness seeping into his voice despite his efforts to control it. “It’s no Quebecois condo. You downgraded from your own place to a converted office?”

Mitch sighs, combing his fingers through his hair and focusing all his attention on the mattress so that he doesn’t have to look at Mat. “I meant the whole house.”

“It’s fine,” Mat says. Then he backtracks, changing his mind. “No, actually, it’s shitty. It’s stupid-big and obnoxious and probably expensive as all hell.”

Mitch turns to look at him during his outburst, but this time it’s Mat avoiding his gaze. Mitch sighs again and tries to think of what to say in response when Mat continues. “It’s taking you away and holding you hostage and I fucking hate it.”

“Mat,” Mitch begins, moving to sit on the bed and press himself close to Mat. “You’re here now, okay? Let’s just focus on that. We’ll deal with the hard stuff later.”

Mat wants to tell him that avoiding the problem doesn’t make it go away, but suddenly the door is bursting open again and Mitch jumps up, moving to nearly the other side of the room.

“Hey biggums!” Jerome exclaims, looking between the two of them but seemingly not suspecting anything at all. “What are you two fucks doing up here? Come downstairs already, we’re gonna do shit.”

Just as quickly as he came, Jerome is gone again. “We’re ‘gonna do shit’. Wow, so informative,” Mitch complains, but he moves towards the door anyway. “You coming?”

Mat smirks at the comment, mind immediately going to the inappropriate, and immature, joke. “Not yet. I could be, though.”

Mitch just rolls his eyes and heads out the door, leaving Mat behind.

“You know you missed my amazing jokes,” Mat calls, running to catch up to Mitch.

Mitch says nothing because he knows it’s true.


	2. Part II

When they finally get back downstairs, breakfast was cleaned up and everyone had dispersed, moving to hang out in various areas of the house. Ian is waiting for Mitch and Mat at the bottom of the stairs, immediately grabbing Mitch and dragging him towards the kitchen. As Ian pulls him away, he calls out behind him, “Jerome, give Mat the grand tour!”

Mat is led away by Jerome reluctantly, trying to ignore the clearly secret conversation Ian wants to have with Mitch.

Mitch is dragged against his will into the kitchen by Ian, where Adam and Quentin are waiting for him. When Ian finally lets Mitch go, the three other boys stare at him expectantly.

“Uh, what’s up guys?” Mitch asks uncertainly.

“So, how you feeling?” Adam inquires, eager to hear Mitch respond with something positive. “Great surprise, right?”

“It’s awesome, guys, really,” Mitch smiles softly, trying to hide how ecstatic he is with a mask of relative indifference. “I’m feeling good. Guess I really was homesick after all.”

Quentin almost opens his mouth to ask how they cured homesickness when Mitch never went anywhere, but Ian glances over at him and the look on his face tells him to keep his mouth shut. There’s a moment of silence again and Mitch shifts back and forth on his feet.

“If this weird conversation is over, can I go now?” Mitch finally says when the silence gets too awkward. “Gotta go save Mat from Jerome.”

Adam smiles and shoos him away, Mitch quickly retreating to go after Mat. When he’s gone, Adam turns to the other two boys and smirks knowingly. “You hear that? Mat is home.”

“Mat is,” Quentin begins, tone questioning before it dawns on him. “Oh, yeah. He basically said that, didn’t he?”

They all turn to look out the doorway where Mitch left, the muffled sounds of Mitch laughing coming from across the house. All three boys feel a change in the air, something shifting in Mitch and in the house surrounding them, but none of them voice their feelings. They’re not sure what it is, but they think they may be on the cusp of something big.

 

 

For the rest of the day, everyone in the house laughed and ate and swam in the pool. Things were finally relaxing with Mitch out of his slump and everyone was in incredibly high spirits. The next day, most of them do some recording early in order to prepare for the massive Christmas party that night. The house was already mostly decorated before, but the girls and their boyfriends decide to get some last minute decorations to completely cover the first floor. The boys who stayed home invited all the people they possibly could and by 7 o’clock guests were already arriving. The party was in full swing by 9, a good amount of people coming despite it being Christmas day. Beer pong tables were set up, music was blasting, copious amounts of alcohol was being served and there was unending amounts of food. All in all, a successful party. Things ended rather early, most of their guests tired due to the holiday celebrations earlier that day and the day before. Maddie, Ian and their son had went to bed hours ago, and the remaining residents of the house that weren’t asleep decided to gather in the living room to watch cheesy Christmas movies until they passed out from exhaustion.

Annie was distributing bowls of popcorn when she notices that Mitch and Mat are nowhere to be found.

“We’re missing some people,” She says, laughing as the more drunk of the boys glance around in confusion. She finally decides to put them out of their misery and explain herself further. “Mitch and Mathew. They’re not here.”

“I actually haven’t seen them in fucking forever,” Jason adds, words slurring together heavily.

“I’ll go look for them,” Jerome exclaims, springing up from where he was seated on the couch. “Don’t start shit without me, assholes.”

Jerome stumbles off, rather tipsy but not full-blown wasted yet. He wanders aimlessly around the first floor without seeing anyone, tripping over garbage from the party as he goes. He finally notices one of the doors leading to the pool is open, the faint glow of the moon and stars casting heavy shadows over the back of the house.

“They went swimming?” He mumbles to himself, heading directly for the door and stepping outside. The first thing he notices is that no one is in the pool, the second thing he notices is a dark form about eight feet away from him, well away from any windows or doors. He stares at the shape for a moment, eyes finally adjusting to the dark and allowing him to see the second form, seemingly pinned to the wall by the first. Jerome immediately has the thought that it must be Mat and Mitch fighting for some reason. He opens his mouth to call out to them, but is interrupted by the smallest of noises coming from their general direction.

He decides to stay quiet and move a little bit closer, the noises becoming more clear as he gets near. He can hear Mat’s muffled voice muttering Mitch’s name over and over, each time coming out more hoarse and breathy than the last. Then he hears it, quiet and low, but impossible to deny what it was. A soft moan comes from Mat’s mouth, matched by a louder groan from Mitch. All at once, the two forms become clear as day, instead of an indistinct shadowed blob.

Mitch is pinning Mat to the outside wall of the house, one hand against the wall by Mat’s head and the other gripping onto Mat’s waist. Their hips are pressed together, Mat nearly standing on his toes in order to meet Mitch at the right angle with their height difference. Mat’s left leg is pulled up, wrapped around Mitch’s own leg to gain better leverage. Mitch’s mouth is pressed to Mat’s neck, making small nips so that he doesn’t leave a mark.

Mitch moves the hand at Mat’s waist to slide under Mat’s thigh, hiking his leg up higher and thrusting his hips down particularly forcefully. Mat’s head falls back, leaving more room for Mitch to leave kisses and bites up his throat and to his jawline. Mat eventually pulls Mitch’s face up to meet his, mouths joining together in a passionate kiss. Mitch breaks away after a moment and lets out a sound half between a moan and the word “fuck” and then dives back down to claim Mat’s mouth again.

It’s at Mitch’s sound that Jerome realizes what he’s looking at and how much he really doesn’t need to see this. Jerome stumbles backwards, turning around quickly and rushing back into the house. He gets all the way to the living room again, running at a full sprint to get away, before he realizes he didn’t bring Mat and Mitch and he has no excuse for why.

“Did you find ‘em?” Quentin asks, decidedly more sober than the rest but with the slightest drunken lilt to his speech.

“I— Uh—“ Jerome stumbles over his words before giving up and crashing to the floor where he stands. “They’re busy, just start the damn movie.”

Jerome spends the entire movie replacing the main characters with Mat and Mitch in his mind. When he tries to go to sleep that night, sprawled out on the floor with a pillow instead of in his own bed, he can’t sleep as he goes over every memory he ever shared with his two friends. He tries his best to put his new information into perspective—the cereal boxes, Mat’s clothes, the last two months—but his drunken mind can’t handle it, and he falls into a fitful sleep.

 

 

The next day, Jerome is hyperaware of everything Mat and Mitch say or do. He’s watching them like a hawk while simultaneously trying to avoid them as much as possible. To his dismay, they insist on recording with him that day, so he reluctantly sets up his recording and tries his best not to think about the two of them in Mitch’s room down the hallway.

When Mitch finally gets on Skype and starts a call with Jerome, he doesn’t let Jerome talk before saying, “It’s actually going to be just me and you, biggums. Mat is here to add commentary, though.”

“What? Why?” Jerome asks, already picturing them in two chairs pressed together, sharing the single microphone on Mitch’s desk.

“I don’t have my computer and my laptop is dead,” Mat adds, voice a lot closer to the mic than Jerome expected. A quick thought enters Jerome head, just something small and fleeting, and he pictures Mitch sitting on Mat’s lap as they record, Mat’s arms wrapped around Mitch’s waist and head resting on his shoulder. Jerome shakes his head to try to rid the thought from his mind, but it lingers, throwing off his concentration for the entire video.

When they’re done with the video, Jerome just barely ends his recording and saves the files before rushing to Mitch’s room and throwing open the door. He expects to catch Mat and Mitch in some sort of compromising position, but they’re sitting innocently next to each other, staring at him in confusion.

“Dude, what’s the emergency?” Mat asks, turning away to reach across Mitch and grab the mouse. He closes things on the computer for Mitch, the other boy smiling gratefully at him and gently touching the underside of his wrist. Jerome sees this and lets out a quick, “Alright, bye”, before rushing out of the room again. When he gets back to the safety of his own bedroom, his stomach is turning and heart is pounding. He almost wishes he caught them in a more suggestive position, because the casual intimacy was making this entire situation seem much more real than it did last night.

 

 

Jerome notices everything now. He sees the way Mitch makes Mat his favorite foods for breakfast in the morning and how Mat will pull little strings or bits of fluff off Mitch’s clothes. He hears the way they mutter to each other, always having secret conversations when they think no one is paying attention. To be fair, no one notices except Jerome anyway. He notices the way Mitch’s bed is always a mess whereas the air mattress looks barely touched, the way Mitch slides gentle fingers across Mat’s wrists and waist when they stand near each other, the way Mat puts his arm around Mitch’s shoulder and grips him possessively when Adam gets a little too flirty. Everything they do betray their secret and it’s a wonder Jerome never noticed it before.

When it’s been almost a week of noticing every single detail, Jerome is close to having a mental breakdown and is desperate to tell someone what he knows. However, he’s not a total asshole and he knows if Mat and Mitch wanted people to know they would’ve already said something. He’s a little offended that they never told him, though, being their friend for the longest.

Regardless, he’s glad for the opportunity tonight to get as drunk as possible and try to forget this ever happened.

 

After about two hours of straight drinking, eating and general partying, the entirety of the house gathers in the living room to watch the cheesy New Year’s Eve TV special. Everyone is lounged across the furniture and the floor, talking amongst themselves as they stare absent-mindedly at the muted television.

“This year has been absolutely nuts,” Adam says and everyone makes sounds of agreement.

“Look around, can you believe we fucking live here?” Jerome adds. He lounges back farther on the arm chair he’s seated in. “It’s great at the top.”

“I hate to get all cheesy,” Quentin starts, sitting up a little straighter to better address everyone else. “But I’m glad we’re all in this together. This year has been full of amazing experiences and great friends.”

“Cheers to that!” Jason exclaims, holding up his beer and then chugging it down.

“This year I found a million new ways to love,” Maddie says softly, smiling gently at Ian. Everyone else in the room pretends to gag from how cute it is.

“I figured out what I wanna do in the future, where I wanna be,” Mitch finally speaks up. The others agree, assuming he means something about Youtube or his career. But Mitch turns to look at Mat for just a fleeting moment and smiles. Mat smiles back, and the urge to hold his hand is so strong that Mitch squeezes his beer bottle hard enough that he thinks it might break.

When it’s about two minutes from the new year, Mitch gets up and says, “I’m going to get more beers.”

“Hurry up, you don’t wanna miss the countdown!” Ian responds, not even looking away from the television showing footage from Disney.

Mitch looks down at where Mat is sitting on the floor and gestures as subtly as he can, Mat noticing and following after him into the Kitchen. When they’re finally by themselves, they instinctually wrap around each other. Mitch is leaning against the countertops, his head pressed against Mat’s shoulder, and Mat rests nearly all his weight against him. The two of them stay silent, listening to the noise coming from the living room and making sure they don’t hear anybody coming to find them. It’s relaxing to finally get a moment to themselves to just breath, and they revel in it.

After what seems like hours, the people in the living room start counting down to the new year, starting at 30 seconds and getting steadily louder with each number. Mat steps back a bit to look at Mitch, their bright smiles matching in their intensity. They hear “Three… Two… One…” and when the uproar begins, their lips meet and they can barely make out the noise at all. The kiss was chaste, just soft presses together with fingers interlocking subconsciously. They quickly hurry back to the others when they’re done, hoping that no one noticed they were gone.

They’re not so lucky, however, and upon seeing them Ty shouts, “Where were you guys? You missed it!”

Jerome stares at them blankly, but Mat somehow feels like Jerome is looking right through them.

“Don’t worry, we made sure to toast each other and chug a beer when the year turned,” Mitch insists, Mat laughing as he sits back down where they were before, on the floor next to the coffee table.

“You didn’t bring back any beers, though,” Tyler adds sadly, frowning down at his empty bottle.

There’s a pause before Mitch laughs and collapses on the floor, “Shit, I’m more drunk than I thought.”

Everyone laughs with him and the incident is forgotten in favor of doing shots of harder liquor. Mitch and Mat stay relatively sober as they have all night, afraid of what they’d do if they were too drunk. By 2 in the morning, everyone is passed out on the floor or on the furniture. Mitch and Mat are mostly sobered up and make their way upstairs back to Mitch’s room. They collapse on his bed, Mat remembering at the last minute to lock the door,  and fall into a deep sleep.

 

 

The next morning, Mitch wakes up on his own instead of with an alarm for once. He’s not sure why he woke up, seeing as the house was completely silent, but any attempt he makes to fall asleep again is futile. Mat is wrapped around him like a koala, always the one who loves to cuddle even if he would never admit to it. Under Mat and all the blankets Mitch is just a little too warm, but it’s worth it for the rare moment of calm and quiet. Mitch takes his time to look over Mat’s form as he sleeps soundly, head resting on Mitch’s outstretched arm and leg tangled between Mitch’s own legs. Mat’s face looks so young and childlike when he sleeps, his features fully relaxed and hair messed up from moving in his sleep. Mat has some of the longest eyelashes Mitch has ever seen and he can imagine them tickling Mat’s face where they touch, much like the way Mat’s hair is brushing against his arm. His hair was longer than the last time Mitch saw him, curling around his ears delicately. Mitch reaches his right arm, the one not under Mat, over to brush some of the hair off of Mat’s face, the boy shifting at the movement and gentle touch.

Mat slowly begins to wake up, the soft brush of Mitch’s fingers enough to wake him as he never was a heavy sleeper like Mitch. Mat makes a few noises, rubbing his balled up fists against his eyes before opening them. Now that Mat is awake, Mitch shifts out of his grip and grabs Mat’s glasses from the side table. Mat sits up fully after a few minutes, graciously taking the proffered glasses and slipping them on. He looks down at Mitch lying beside him when he can finally see clearly, smiling down softly and tiredly.

“Mornin’,” Mat mumbles, positioning himself to lean against the headboard. Mitch shifts over, suddenly cold now that he lost his human blanket, and pushes himself close to Mat. Mitch rests his head on Mat’s thigh and pulls the blankets up to his chin.

“Mornin’,” Mitch repeats in response.

“Happy New Year,” Mat adds, brushing his hand against Mitch’s hair. Mitch pushes his head back into Mat’s hands like a cat and Mat chuckles, the sound rumbling through Mitch’s body.

“I’m glad you’re here for this,” Mitch says. “I don’t think I could’ve done it without you.”

Mat makes a soft noise in response as Mitch continues. “Really. Any of this. I would never be here doing this if it wasn’t for you.”

“I’d never make it through school without you, either. You were the only thing in Montreal keeping me sane.” Mat’s voice is quiet, even though he knows everyone is going to be sleeping for a few more hours. The moment seems too precious to ruin with loud voices. “You still are, just now you’re here.”

“When you graduate, you should move in,” Mitch says suddenly, and Mat’s hand stills from where he had been unknowingly running it through Mitch’s hair.

“Mitch,” he begins when Mitch interrupts.

“No, really. You can graduate and then move in here, there’s plenty of room for you.”

“Mitch, they’ll ask questions,” Mat sighs, his hand moving from Mitch’s hair to the back of his neck, rubbing gently. “They’re not gonna let me move in unless we tell them.”

“Why do you think that?” Mitch asks. Mat almost groans at how unaware he can be sometimes.

“It’s the Team Crafted house, not the Team Crafted and random jags house,” Mat explains. “In their eyes, there’s no reason for me to move in. Move to LA, maybe. But in their house? No way.”

“Then we’ll just tell them,” Mitch replies, voice suddenly confident and certain. Mat is quiet for a moment, trying to gauge how serious Mitch is. When Mat doesn’t say anything, Mitch continues. “Hell, let’s do it today. Before I chicken out, let’s tell them. Then we can start planning for you to move in now and have it all ready when you graduate. Maybe I’ll get them to let us have the basement to ourselves.”

“Are you serious?” Mat asks, trying his best to keep his voice steady and calm. Mat always tried to reassure Mitch in the past that coming out wouldn’t be hard, but faced with the option he finds himself more scared than he expected. “If you want to do it today, we can. But you have to be serious. You have to be ready for this.”

“I love you. I want them to know,” Mitch pauses. “I think they deserve to know about something so big in my life.”

Mat smiles and pinches Mitch’s shoulder in response. “Aw, you’re cute.”

Mitch laughs but then goes quiet and Mat can practically hear the doubt creeping back into his mind. “You think it’ll be okay?”

“Adam did it, and it was fine. They’ll still love you, Mitch. They’re your friends.”

Mitch takes a steady breath and when he releases it, he sits up and turns to look at Mat. “Then let’s do it. Let’s tell them today.”

Mat nods in response, trying to stop his own nervous heart from beating so fast.

 

 

Mat and Mitch shower, get dressed and head downstairs before anyone even wakes up. Mitch looks around the kitchen, scrounging up whatever food is left from the last few days of partying and being lazy. He finds enough to make some omelets, quickly getting to work on cooking for the both of them. Mat sits at the island and watches as Mitch concentrates on adding the perfect amount of spices and vegetables. It’s funny sometimes, how Mitch can be extremely lazy and whiny but will put all his effort into creating the perfect meal. It works out great for them because Mat can’t really cook at all.

Once Mat and Mitch are nearly finished eating, some of the other boys start wandering in, stumbling in a hung over haze and following the smell of food. After about five minutes of incessant whining, Mitch agrees to make lunch for the others too. Mat gets up to help him, the two working quietly next to each other to make some grilled cheese sandwiches. While the boys happily eat their sandwiches, Mitch washes the dishes by hand and passes them off to Mat to dry. They ignore the protests of the other boys telling them to use the dishwasher, too caught up in their little world. It’s all very domestic, and both boys catch themselves having the thought that they could see this same scene happening 5 years from now, in their own house that they bought together.

When mostly everyone is awake and fed, Mitch finds Adam at the dining room table and pulls him to a more secluded area in a side hallway.

“Can you,” Mitch begins, voice cutting out in his nervousness. He clears his throat and starts again. “Can you call a house meeting?”

“Sure?” Adam responds, tone laced with confusion. “Why me, though?”

“You’re uh— You’re the loudest.”

Adam makes an offended noise and storms away, but Mitch can hear him laughing as he goes. Adam stands in the middle of the entryway, looking up at the second floor balcony, and yells, “HOUSE MEETING! COME TO THE LIVING ROOM NOW!”

Mitch actually jumps with how loud it was, but smiles appreciatively at Adam and heads off in the direction of the living room. He stops in the kitchen first, passing by Tyler and Ian.

“Yo, house meeting. Didn’t you hear?” Ian calls, but Mitch just rushes past.

“Yeah, one second!” He says over his shoulder, seeking out Mat who is standing alone in the kitchen, staring down blankly at his hands.

“You ready for this?” He says quietly without looking up at Mitch.

“About as ready as I’ll ever be,” Mitch replies. He moves himself into Mat’s space and Mat finally looks up. Their eyes meet and they can both see the apprehension flitting across each other’s faces. Mitch tries his best to put forward a determined expression, but when Mat grabs his hands from where they hang beside him, he can feel how badly they’re shaking.

Mat sighs and says, “We don’t have to do this now if you don’t want to.”

“No!” Mitch exclaims, subconsciously stamping his foot on the ground like a child. “I want to do this. We’re doing this.”

Mat just nods and squeezes Mitch’s hands.

“Unless,” Mitch says, quieter now. “Unless you don’t want to?”

Mat shakes his head. “Nah, I’ve been wanting to do this forever. Just had to wait for you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Mat smiles. “We gotta be on the same page for this to work. You had a reason to wait, it’s fine.”

They stand in silence for a few more minutes before they can hear Adam and Jerome screaming their names from the living room. The both take a deep breath and Mitch presses a kiss to Mat’s nose. Mat’s face scrunches up in response, Mitch chuckling as Mat pretends to wipe his nose in disgust. Mitch turns to head towards the door then turns back and adds, “You coming?”

Mat follows after him. “Not yet,” Mat begins, but Mitch punches him in the shoulder before he could finish the joke.

 

 

Mitch and Mat shuffle awkwardly into the living room, the other members of the house turning to look at them from where they sat on the couches, chairs and floor. They expected the two boys to sit down and for Adam to get up to talk, but Mat and Mitch stay standing in front of the television.

“Okay,” Mitch begins, but he can’t finish the sentence. He spends a few moments trying to calm down, keeping his eyes trained on his hands instead of looking up at the others. “I have something to say. I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

“Oooh,” Jason interrupts, Mitch’s head snapping up to look at him. “Mitch got some chick pregnant.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Adam spits, Jason looking surprised at the amount of venom in his voice. “Let him speak.”

“Don’t be mad that I didn’t tell you… I just didn’t want to mess things up… Or make you guys hate me… And I hope this doesn’t change anything…”

Mat, fed up with Mitch’s trademark rambling, decides to interject. “Me and Mitch are dating.”

There’s a shocked silence in the room, before Ty pipes up with a, “Yeah, right.”

Ty and some of the others start chuckling, unable to believe that this wasn’t a joke. Mitch falters, not expecting this kind of response. Mat starts getting mad, especially when he can see how scared Mitch is and how the other boy still won’t look up from his hands.

“We’ve been dating for almost two fucking years. Our anniversary is January 23rd. This isn’t a goddamn joke,” Mat responds, tone aggressive and offended. He turns to look at Mitch, unable to resist the urge to smile at him even with his anger. Mitch smiles tentatively back, finally looking up from his hands. “I wouldn’t joke about this.”

There’s another minute of silence, where everyone is visibly trying to process this new information. Ian is the first to speak up, shouting, “I _knew_ something was up!”

Jason frowns a little. “Is this a prank? This can’t be a real thing.”

Mat opens his mouth, about five seconds away from telling Jason every sordid detail of their sex life in order to prove just how real this is. He never gets the chance, however, as Jerome says, “I saw them making out like a week ago.”

It’s Mat and Mitch’s turn to be surprised, as they both shout a shocked, “What?!”

“I, uh,” Jerome explains. “It was during the Christmas party. I went to look for you guys so you could come watch movies with us.”

Mitch goes bright red at the memory and the new knowledge that someone saw what they were up to. Mat can’t help but smirk a little at the uncomfortable expression on Jerome’s face.

“Well, I think this is awesome,” Maddie pipes up, adjusting herself to sit more comfortably against Ian. “Congrats in advance on your second anniversary, sorry I missed the first.”

The couple smiles more easily at the comment, thanking her and moving to stand closer together. The entire mood of the room shifts from shock and confusion to curiosity, and they start bombarding Mat and Mitch with various questions. Some are interested in the romantic details, asking questions about first dates and anniversaries. Others ask about how they managed to keep a secret it for so long. Adam especially never seems to run out of questions, Quentin having to forcibly shut him up so they can order food and move on with their lives.

For all of their stress leading up to this moment, Mat and Mitch have never felt so relaxed when they sit down at the dining room table, pressed next to each other instead of keeping a careful distance. They hold hands under the table and don’t care who sees, picking food off each other’s plates and pretending to not notice when the others make fun of how cute they are. They fit right in with the other two couples in the house and it feels a little like fate, the way everything falls into place perfectly.

 

 

Later that afternoon, everyone is out by the pool, enjoying the uncharacteristically warm day for the beginning of January. Some people are relaxing under the shade, lying on towels or reclined on lounge chairs. Mat and Jerome are busy with silly swimming competitions when Mat finally glances over at Mitch. Mitch has fallen asleep, lying on his stomach on a large towel far enough away from the pool so that he doesn't get wet. Mat finds himself chuckling as he pulls himself out of the pool, heading over to the pile of folded towels they brought out to use when they finished swimming.

"What's so funny?" Jerome calls, swimming around idly as he waits for Mat to come back and race him again.

"It's about two, right? Mitch always naps around now, if possible," Mat takes a particularly large towel and moves towards Mitch. "The only things he actually has a schedule for is sleep and food. He's a baby."

Jerome—as well as Adam, Ian and Tyler who are out by the pool too—watch as Mat carefully drapes the towel over Mitch's back, making sure no bit of skin is left exposed to the sun. Mat looks at him fondly for a moment, before getting an idea and going to grab another towel. Mat lifts Mitch's head gently, Mitch being a deep enough sleeper that he doesn't wake, and slides the towel under him to use as a pillow. Content with Mitch being more comfortable and protected, Mat runs back towards the pool and dives in.

When Mat comes up out of the water, the other boys are looking at him with varying expressions on their faces. "What's up?" Mat asks.

"So, you and Mitch, huh?" Tyler says noncommittally. Mat's face scrunches up in confusion.

"Yes?" Mat says slowly. "I thought we went over this already?"

"You really care about him right?" Adam asks, ignoring Mat's growing confusion. "Do you love him?"

"Yeah, of course," Mat responds, trying to keep his tone light and joking. The serious expression on Adam's face doesn't budge and Mat looks at Jerome for help. Jerome isn't much better, looking at Mat like he's suspicious of him.

"Does he know that? Do you do nice shit for him?" Jerome questions, tone bordering on venomous.

There's a pause, when Mat suddenly has a thought. "Are you doing the dad with a shotgun thing? Seriously, all four of you?"

"We just care about Mitch, that's all," Ian responds gently, speaking in what Mat has come to know as his fatherly tone.

"What do you want me to tell you?" Mat snaps, his short fuse making him react with anger first before any other emotion. "Of course I love him. We've been together almost two years, why would I still be around if I didn't love him?"

The others still eye him suspiciously. Mat deflates, his anger gone as quick as it came, moving to lean against the side of the pool. "Look, I get it. Mitch is your friend and you guys barely know me, except for Jerome. We might look kinda one-sided, but I'm really not a romantic gesture and PDA kind of guy. That's all Mitch."

Mat sighs, pulling himself out of the pool to sit on the side and dangle his legs in the water. Mat looks over to where Mitch lays sleeping, bundled up in multiple towels, and smiles. "He's too good for me, I know. But I'm gonna do what I can to keep him while I got him."

Ian grins, walking over to crouch next to Mat and give him a one-armed hug. "You're good kids, I trust you both."

Adam looks like he wants to say something more, probably further question Mat on his motives, but Jerome splashes water at him and says, "Let it go, Adam. They're fine."

Adam pouts a little, but stays quiet. Jerome turns back to Mat to address him. "I feel like I should have known, on some level. I never understood why he stayed in Montreal when it's so far from everything and he doesn't know French."

Mat laughs, remembering all the times he tried, and failed, to teach Mitch more advanced French. They would always get about ten minutes into studying before Mitch would get distracted, pressing kisses to Mat's skin and muttering about how hot it was when Mat spoke French. After that, no more work would ever get done.

"He was always different with you, too. More relaxed. Less 'youtuber' and more 'normal guy'," Jerome starts chuckling. "You guys would ignore me in videos too, always bitching at each other about something."

"Yeah, that's us," Mat says. "Old married couple and all that shit. It's a miracle none of you ever questioned it."

"Just didn't expect either of you to be gay, I guess," Tyler says, and the other boys except Mat look at him in shock, as if saying the G word was forbidden.

"Don't let Mitch catch you saying that," Mat spares a glance back at Mitch and laughs. "He insists that he's bi. On a bad day, he'll tell you he's straight and I'm the exception. I don't buy it."

Adam bursts out laughing, his trademark loud laughter combined with the laughter of the other boys being enough to wake Mitch up. Mitch, in his confused and tired state, shouts with a hoarse and sleepy voice, "What's so funny you jags?"

"Nothing, babe," Mat calls over his shoulder, body shaking with muffled chuckles. "Don't worry about it."

"Don't worry about it, my ass," Mitch grumbles, getting up from his spot and wrapping himself in the towel Mat had draped over him. He moves to sit next to Mat, dipping his feet into the pool as well.

"Oh, I'm very worried about your ass," Mat responds, reaching over to pinch Mitch's side.

Mitch lets out a high-pitched noise and blushes red, squirming slightly in embarrassment. "Don't talk like that," he complains, smacking Mat's thigh.

"Oh god, you guys are absolutely sickening," Jerome complains. Mat and Mitch both kick water at him, acting at the same time without having to say anything first.

“What are you, some kind of homophobe?” Mitch questions, though his smile and the way he’s still kicking water show that he’s not serious.

Jerome goes still, the other boys too, and Jerome replies with the utmost sincerity, “Dude, of course not. You know I don’t care.”

“Fucking relax,” Mat responds, not even flinching as Mitch shifts closer and lays his head on Mat’s shoulder. “Don’t treat us so goddamn different. We’ve been doing this forever without you knowing, shit doesn’t have to change now.”

Mitch nudges Mat from where he’s pressed against him and Mat adds in a nicer tone, “We appreciate the support, but save it for when we need it, ‘kay?”

“If anyone tries to say shit, I’ll end them,” Adam exclaims, his instincts to protect those around him coming out in full force.

“Well no one will, because this stays in the house for now,” Mat says firmly and the others nod in agreement.

“We’ll do the public thing eventually,” Mitch mumbles, face pressed against Mat’s bare shoulder. “Official video and everything. But probably not for a while.”

“We should tell some of our other friends, though,” Mat voice is quieter, speaking more directly to Mitch and not the others. “Preston, Rob, Pete…”

“Maybe some of the guys back home?”

There’s a pause and Mat adds tentatively, “And Zak?”

“You can if you want,” Mitch sighs. “If you think it’ll be a good idea.”

“Maybe not a good one, but should be done anyway. Cover all the bases, hit the ones closest to us,” Mat explains. “We’ll divide and conquer Skype tonight and get this shit over with so we can relax.”

“And celebrate the anniversary early!” Mitch adds with excitement in his voice. “Man your gift is gonna be sweet.”

“Yours,” Mat falters, voice unsure. “Yours too.”

It’s at this point that Mat realizes he has no idea what to get Mitch for their anniversary.

 

-

-

-

 

 

It’s about two weeks later on a Thursday when Mat wakes up and slides out of bed quietly to avoid waking Mitch up. Jerome is waiting for him downstairs, the two of them driving to the post office to pick up Mat’s present for Mitch. Their anniversary wasn’t until next week, but Mat had to go back home in a few days to continue college, so they decided to celebrate early. Mat got up especially early—or around 9 in the morning, which was early for the residents of the house—to get Mitch’s gift and have some time to himself to relax and stop worrying so much. Jerome was kind enough to take him to the post office and then out to lunch after, paying for the meal even when Mat insisted they should just eat at the house for free.

After the longest meal of Mat’s life, Jerome takes him to the nearby mall to do some more shopping. It’s about two hours in when he realizes that he’s purposely being kept away from the house, so instead of fighting it, he just goes along with Jerome’s lame excuses.

“So we’re here to buy,” Mat begins, voice trailing off as he expects Jerome to finish.

“A new pillow, the one I have now sucks,” Jerome replies, face pressed into one of the display pillows at the store.

“Right,” Mat says. “So do you actually need a pillow or is this another stop just to keep me away from the house?”

Jerome falters, dropping the pillow he was holding. “That obvious, huh?”

“You forget we’ve been dating for two years. The first anniversary he tried to be sneaky too, and it went just about as well as this is going,” Mat laughs, sitting on a nearby bed that was made up to showcase a duvet set.

Jerome drops down next to him. “It’s just hard to wrap my head around, y’know? It was all right under my nose.”

“I get it, man. I wanted to say shit sooner, but you know how Mitch gets sometimes,” Mat sighs and plays with some of the strings on the blanket. “He was paranoid.”

“At least it turned out alright in the end, though, right?”

“Yeah, everyone has been really chill about it. Except—“ Mat cuts himself off, not wanting to bring the conversation down any farther. It was his anniversary, or they were pretending it was, he doesn’t need to be upset about anything.

“Except what? Did one of the guys say something to you?” Jerome responds, voice getting louder and angrier by the time he finishes.

“No, it’s just,” Mat stumbles a bit over his words and tries again. “I told Zak over Skype two weeks ago.”

“Oh,” is all Jerome says, as if that sentence was enough to explain everything.

“He didn’t flip out, but it was weird. I guess it’s always been weird with him, but even more now. He hasn’t talked to me since I told him.”

Jerome stays quiet, letting Mat get out whatever he needs to say.

“It just reminded me that not everyone is gonna be as great as you guys were,” Mat reaches up to rub at his eyes from under his glasses. “Mitch had a reason to be so worried.”

“We’re all here for you dude,” Jerome responds gently, patting Mat supportively on the back and trying his best to be comforting. “I wouldn’t be wasting my day like this if I didn’t want you two to be happy. Like Adam said, we’ll fuck up anyone who tries to start shit. Ian went to the army, I’m pretty sure that man could kill and make it look like an accident.”

Mat laughs loudly, other shoppers turning to look at them in confusion. “Thanks, man.”

“No problem, bro,” Jerome stands up and throws the pillows he was looking at back into their displays. “Now let’s get the fuck out of here and do something actually fun for the next hour until we can go home.”

Mat follows after him grinning and suggests the small arcade inside the mall. Jerome completely kicks Mat’s ass in nearly every game, but he’s happy enough that it doesn’t matter.

 

Back at the house, Adam wakes up first and ushers everyone out of the door as they wake up, until it’s only him and a sleeping Mitch left inside. By noon Adam gets too impatient and he stomps into Mitch’s room, throwing things at him and yelling until he wakes up. Mitch gets up and showers, heading downstairs and into the kitchen in a pair of old sweatpants and a t-shirt.

Adam takes one look at him and states, “You’re not wearing that tonight.”

“Obviously not,” Mitch laughs, “Just don’t wanna get my good clothes dirty.” Adam accepts his reasons and starts talking about a mile a minute, explaining all the things he bought the night before and how he already started setting up outside.

Mitch heads out by the pool to find a small table and chairs set up. With the help of Adam, they spend the next hour or so setting up the table with nice plates and candles. They decorate outside too, putting flowers and a string of small light-up lanterns Adam found at the store. Mitch laughs when he sees them, because he knows he would’ve bought the same thing if he went to the store himself. Him and Adam were always the hopeless romantics of the group.

At around 3, Mitch starts cooking and Adam sits at the counter, chatting with him and generally annoying him with questions.

“So did you do this for your first anniversary?” Adam asks, voice nothing short of eager and excited. Mitch isn’t necessarily fond of talking about his relationship like young girls would gossip, but Adam was his only company for now. Plus the boy helped him tons, so the least he can do is humor Adam for a bit.

“More or less,” Mitch replies, stirring his pasta sauce.

“Two years,” Adam says wistfully. There’s a pause, and then he asks, “So how did it all start?”

Mitch stops for a moment, contemplating. “I don’t know? There was a lot of tip-toeing around each other before anyone did anything.”

Adam makes a noise to indicate he’s listening and Mitch sighs, continuing the story.

“We’d been friends for a few years already and I guess things started to change? I can’t speak for him but it was probably the summer before I turned 18. I was freaking out because I always thought of myself as straight, y’know?”

“Been there,” Adam interrupts and Mitch smiles over at him.

“Yeah, so, I don’t know, we kissed once when we were drunk. I know, it sounds super clichéd. But then we avoided each other for a while, and eventually we man-ed up and talked about it. Mat asked me out to the movies that weekend, January 23rd, and the rest is history I guess.”

“That was the least romantic thing I’ve ever heard,” Adam whines, visibly disappointed.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” Mitch laughs, moving to start preparing the pasta noodles. “It all happened slow. Going from best friends to boyfriends barely made a difference. We still played Portal and Minecraft, still did midnight Tim Horton’s runs, still copied each other’s homework; we were the same people.”

“Just sometimes you got blowjobs out of it?” Adam suggests, smirking at the light flush that covers Mitch’s features. Mitch throws a piece of green pepper at Adam and works quietly for some time, staring at his food as it cooked.

After about ten minutes of contemplative silence, Mitch speaks up again, voice more quiet and full of nostalgia. “I’ve got romantic for you. The first time we said ‘I love you’ it was about five months after our first date. We were in Mat’s backyard at night, making up dumb constellations and just talking. I just blurted it out and was terrified it’d freak him out, but he said it back and I can remember every detail about how he looked and sounded when he did it.”

“That is adorable oh my god,” Adam gushes, and Mitch goes quiet again as he lets Adam talk about how precious him and Mat are in extreme detail. For someone who is generally loud and energetic, he turns to absolute mush when it comes to cute, romantic things. When it gets closer to the time Jerome promised he’d bring Mat back, Adam pushes Mitch out of the kitchen to get dressed. Mitch is wary to leave his hard work in the hands of Adam, but he trusts him anyway. When he comes back down in a button up shirt and some of his nicer jeans, Adam whistles in appreciation but doesn’t let him near the food again.

It’s about twenty minutes of Mitch arguing that it’s his surprise and he should handle the food, with Adam arguing back that he’ll ruin his clothes, when they hear the front door open. The two of them go silent, listening to Jerome yelling, “We’re back! Come on Adam, let’s go!”

Neither boy moves for a moment, Mitch taking a deep breath and Adam helping straighten out his clothes. They head to the entryway, Mitch trailing behind Adam as nervousness takes over him. It’s show time.

 

 

When they finally get back to the house it’s around 5 at night and Mat’s nerves have come back again in full force. Mat rushes upstairs as Jerome calls out to Adam, quickly opening the package with Mitch’s gift and changing into nicer clothes. He’s eternally grateful that his mother insisted he packed at least one nice shirt, reminding himself to thank her later.

By the time Mat comes back down, Adam and Jerome are seemingly gone and Mat follows the smell of food to the kitchen where Mitch is working. Mitch doesn’t seem to notice him, so Mat sidles him behind him and presses a kiss to the side of his neck. “What’re you cooking?”

Mitch jumps at the touch, immediately turning to push Mat away. “No peaking! Go out to the table by the pool.”

Mat grumbles a bit but does what he’s told, finding a small table set up, positioned perfectly to watch the sunset. The table is empty except for a small candle, a bottle of wine and two wine glasses. Mat wasn’t even aware they had wine in the house but as he picks up the bottle he finds it’s already open, so he pours himself some and sips at it slowly. The rest of the area isn’t too decorated, just some flowers here and there and small lantern lights in various colors. The lights weren’t on as it wasn’t dark enough yet, but Mat laughs as he remembers Mitch buying lights just like that for their first anniversary.

After a few minutes of looking around, Mitch comes out from the house, balancing two plates full of spaghetti precariously in his arms. He puts them both down and gets in his own chair across from Mat.

“Did you make this yourself?” Mat questions. He stares in awe at the food, always a little bit surprised at how well Mitch can cook.

“Of course,” Mitch replies proudly. “Nothing but the best for us. Bon appetit!”

“Merci,” Mat says in response, already digging in to his meal. Mitch smiles at his use of French before starting to eat himself.

They eat in silence for a while, sipping at their wine glasses and sharing secret smiles over the flicker of the candle. When they’re both nearly finished, Mitch speaks again. “So, uh, do you like it? It’s not much, but it’s the best gift I could think of.”

Mat is a little surprised at Mitch’s shyness. “What do you mean it’s not much? Look at all this,” Mat gestures to the table and the area around them. “You did all of this on your own, that’s more than I did.”

“Well, Adam helped a bit,” Mitch mumbles, grinning uncontrollably at the praise.

“Still, all I did was buy you something. I should be the one saying ‘it’s not much’,” Mat insists, fidgeting a little with the box he’s kept on his lap the entire time.

“You bought me something?” Mitch’s eyes light up, reacting like a child would on Christmas. “Let me see!”

Mat pulls the box up from his lap and places it on the table, sliding it over to Mitch. Mitch snatches it up eagerly and opens it, eyeing the contents quietly for a moment. Mat immediately starts talking, scared that he doesn’t like it, “It’s for your necklace… It’s like a pendant or something. You always wear that necklace so I thought you could add this to the chain and it’d be our little thing.”

Mitch glances up at Mat with an unreadable expression, before picking up the pendant out of the box. It was thin and rectangular, almost resembling the necklace his Minecraft skin wore. When he holds it in his fingers, he can feel texture on the back and he flips it over to read the engraving; “MN & MH” and on the line below that, “01-23-12”.

“Less obvious than a ring or something,” Mat adds quietly, talking to cover his worry at Mitch’s lack of reaction. “Preston sort of suggested it. Or gave me the idea. If you don’t like it, I can send it back. It’s no big deal. In fact, it’s probably a really weird gift. It’s not like I’m proposing or anything. Just— you can just give it back and we can forget it ever happen—“

“Mat, relax,” Mitch looks up at Mat with the biggest grin on his face. “It’s amazing, I love it.”

Mat breaths an audible sigh of relief. Mitch reaches up to undo the chain he always wears, slipping the new pendant onto it. “Can you help me do it back up?”

Mat stands and moves behind Mitch, clasping the necklace behind his neck and trailing his fingers along the exposed skin between Mitch’s hair and the collar of his shirt. Mitch smiles and turns to Mat, hooking his fingers into his shirt to drag him down for a kiss. When they separate, Mitch’s smile has turned wicked and he says, “Adam promised to keep everyone out until eight.”

Mat assumes maybe about an hour has passed since he got home, leaving them another two hours to do whatever they pleased. Mat matches Mitch’s smile with a smirk of his own. “Dessert?”

 

 

About an hour later, Mitch collapses on top of Mat, their sweat-soaked skin sticking together as they lay quietly in the afterglow. Mat pushes Mitch’s bangs off his face and presses a kiss to his forehead. Mat is nearly all the way asleep when Mitch finally moves off of him, startling him back awake. Mitch rolls over onto his back next to Mat and stares up at the ceiling, blindly reaching for Mat’s hand and interlocking their fingers when he finds it.

“I’m gonna miss this,” Mitch says quietly, squeezing Mat’s hand and turning over to face him.

Mat still lies on his back with his eyes closed and responds, “It won’t be long until I’m back again. Spring break first, then we’ll have the whole summer.”

“I’ll come back up too, get us a hotel in the city so we can spend entire days in bed,” Mat finally turns to face Mitch as well, smiling at the way Mitch always has such unrealistic and imaginative plans. “I’ll get a honeymoon suite so we can bang in the hot tub.”

Mat laughs, ducking his head down and smacking at Mitch’s bare skin as he does. Mitch laughs with him, but they both pause and contemplate the idea even through their mirth. Mat adds, “It’ll be like what we did with your condo, we’ll make a goal to fuck in every room.”

Mitch is already imagining the possibilities as he moves closer to Mat, running his hand down Mat’s side and pulling him into a kiss. Their mouths meet lazily for a few moments, as if they have all the time in the world. Mitch is almost completely on top of Mat again when Mat stops him.

“They’ll be back any minute now,” Mat reminds. Mitch pouts but doesn’t move away, instead shifting to lay half on top of Mat, arms wrapped around the other boy’s stomach.

“Nothing could be more perfect than this,” Mitch says wistfully, sighing a little as he traces patterns on Mat’s skin with his fingers. “I wish it was you who moved in, instead of—“

Mitch cuts himself off, but Mat knows where he was going. _Instead of Jerome_. Mat can’t say that he never considered the possibility before. Things could have went different; instead of going to school Mat could have grown his channel. It could have been Nooch n’ Benj that made it big and Mat would have been the one moving in to a mansion with his boyfriend. Maybe they wouldn’t be boyfriends yet, always wanting to keep it professional, but the tension gets to be too much and they come together like puzzle pieces despite their best efforts. One day Mitch proposes at a convention in front of everyone. They get married with nearly the entire Minecraft youtuber community at their wedding. Their channels grow exponentially, they make it so big that they never have to worry or work a nine-to-five job.

Or maybe, ASF never happens. Mitch moves to Montreal and stays there. They still play games on weekends, but no one ever hears their jokes and bickering. They graduate high school and go to the same college; Mat getting a computer science degree and Mitch does something in business. They buy a house together, adopt a dog or a child, live happily ever after.

There’s a lot of different outcomes they’ve both contemplated, even if they never mention it to the other, and most of these never involve Jerome. Mat isn’t one to wish misfortune on others for his own gain, and neither is Mitch, but it doesn’t stop them from being nostalgic for an ending that never happened.

Instead of saying all this, Mat just responds, “No you don’t.” Mitch stays silent because he knows it’s true.

“Maybe it would be easier if it was me instead,” Mat adds. “But that wouldn’t be us. We’re not some Romeo and Juliet bullshit or something boring out of a movie. We’re the Benja and the robit; I wouldn’t change that for anything.”

“This is getting way too cheesy,” Mitch laughs, poking at Mat a few times before continuing to draw aimless patterns.

“Whatever, it’s our anniversary. I do what I want.”

Mitch laughs even more now, shaking from his place on top of Mat. Mat shoves him off and Mitch whines at the treatment before moving to reclaim his position once again. They settle down eventually, both boys laying quietly and dozing in and out of sleep. The entire house is mostly silent, save for the occasional noises of pipes and the air conditioning. For once, they feel completely at rest, with no responsibilities or secrets weighing heavily on them. It was finally peaceful and relaxing.

 

A minute later, the sound of the front door crashing open and all the guys tumbling back into the house is heard. They make jokes noisily, shouting and laughing loud enough that Mat and Mitch can hear them perfectly from all the way upstairs. They try to close their eyes and ignore the noise, but they can hear some of the boys stomping up the stairs and heading towards their room.

Tyler is the first one they can hear, mumbling to himself, “Why is there clothes all over the floor?”

He gets directly outside of their door before the information seems to click, and Mat and Mitch can barely hear him running away and yelling, “Stay away from their room! Oh god, the mental images!” over the sound of their own laughter.

Maybe it’s not relaxing, and it’s the farthest thing from peaceful, but the little world they’ve built for themselves—spanning across Montreal and all the way to  Los Angeles—even with all its imperfections, is nothing short of perfect for them.


	3. Epilogue

Mat heads back to Montreal to finish college, going back to visit Mitch whenever he can. Over the summer they work on growing his channel, so that by the time he’s starting his final year of college he’s already at a million subscribers. Mitch flies to Montreal to attend Mat’s graduation and at the end of that week, they’re on a plane with all of Mat’s belongings headed to Los Angeles. Their channels continue to expand, as do the channels of the boys in the house. After only a few weeks of living with them, Adam decides to induct Mat into Team Crafted, complete with a ridiculous knighting ceremony that ends with Mat being shoved in the pool. He fits right in perfectly, as if there was always a spot missing for his snarky and sarcastic humor.

It’s coming up on their fourth anniversary when they decide to go public, posting a tweet first and then Mitch insisting on doing one of his trademark 10 minute long videos full of rambling and tangents. Mat sits quietly next to him for most of the video, only adding joking comments when Mitch pauses. On Mat’s own channel, he edits the important parts of Mitch’s video into something much shorter and uploads that. The reaction from fans and fellow youtubers is almost immediate, and they both sit pressed together in front of the same computer, refreshing Twitter and Youtube and smiling at the support messages that come pouring in.

 

 

Coming out gets them a whole new kind of attention, this time from bloggers and reporters. They end up becoming one of Youtube’s power couples, what the media likes to refer to as “representative gay-mers” but Mat always calls “token homos”. Team Crafted grows ever stronger, with new opportunities opening up every day. It’s around Mat and Mitch’s fifth anniversary, at the first ever Team Crafted panel with nearly a thousand attendees, that their lives change and they realize that the future they always wanted was suddenly attainable. It was messy and unplanned, much like their entire relationship has been, but for all its faults the moment was perfect.

Holding hands on a stage, friends behind them and cheering crowd in front of them, they realize that home was never Montreal or Los Angeles or the thousands of miles in between. Home is the spaces where their fingers interlock, home is the matching grins they can’t fight when they look at one another, home is video games and conventions and red-eye flights and ice cream in bed at three in the morning. They finally found home in each other.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Full notes on this fic are [here](http://manzini.tumblr.com/private/70820697596/tumblr_my883sJAaP1qzj9yz).


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